Garden Squirrel Patrol

Living in a downtown neighborhood, I am fortunate in not having to contend with deer. However, I do have squirrel issues.

The issue with these tree rats hasn’t been their theft of anything I actually intended on harvesting. No, I should be so lucky. Instead they see my beds and (mistakenly) recall a hidden cache of bounty buried underneath them. The more fragile the seedlings or scarce the heirloom seed planted, the larger the imagined food stores seem to be.
Why is it I’ve never seen a withered young nettle or crabgrass sprout uprooted next to a rodent engineered core sampling? Likewise, if I finally get a couple of healthy nasturtiums sprouted or carefully transplant some New Zealand spinach, why do I awake to find what looks like the recent Guatemala City sink hole in their place.

The cats that own me would only run towards a squirrel if there was an open can of “9 Lives” behind it. Fail.

Cats aren’t employable; they work only if they deem it necessary for survival.

The solution?

A few months ago an unusual stray showed up on our doorstep. He wasn’t the one of the usual sad sweet mongrels that find their way into my neighborhood. Fortunately for this small pooch, we had an opening for a dog on the payroll.

Enter the tiny 6 lb stray toy poodle Albert.

Albert is eminently employable; he is like the annoying person at work who is always asking for more to do just to please the boss. He has worked his way up the chain to his current position “Supervisor, Border Security”.

As I plink away he remains vigilant; squirrels now mostly avoid the yard in favor of fence top circumnavigation.